![]() Instead, the fun comes from inventing creative ways to get things done, like that time I transformed myself into a tiny fish to avoid a security system and pull off a heist. On the one hand, you can throw yourself at problems with reckless abandon, free from worry that you’ll ever fail at anything – but on the other hand, it also removes any potential challenge, which means you’ll blow through any obstacle before you with relative ease. There’s no health bar and you can’t actually be killed by anything, so there are practically never consequences for anything you do, which can be both a good thing and a bad thing. It’s a clever interactive spoof of all the broken game physics we’ve seen in open worlds – almost like a greatest hits album of all the ridiculous bugs that pop up in serious games like Skyrim or Assassin’s Creed, except embraced and celebrated in a world that’s made to be broken." - Dan Stapleton, ApScore: 8 The small but dense map is packed with tons of jokes and bugs that should be seen rather than talked about, and there’s at least a few hours’ worth of entertainment in goofing around with the jetpack alone. "Goat Simulator isn’t much of a game, but it’s a hell of a good time. I really never knew what they were going to throw at me at any given moment, which was delightful. ![]() Oh, and in another, I literally just went bird watching. The quests are about as insane as you’d expect: in one I was elected President after dragging citizens kicking and screaming into a voting booth with my tongue, while in another I had to infiltrate a facility to unleash a race of anthropomorphic bananas on the world. However, unlike the first Goat Simulator, this time you are given clear objectives and a quest log that guides you towards leveling up your Illuminati Ranks, upgrading your Goat Castle base, and eventually reaching an incredibly bonkers conclusion after roughly eight hours. You’ll do normal goat stuff like drop a nuclear bomb on a cul-de-sac, or cause a trio of ballerinas to turn into a giant tornado that never goes away for the rest of your adventure, or drive cars into your friends until they explode (both the cars and the friends). ![]() Instead it lets you and your friends loose on the world and says “go ahead – break it all,” as you complete a series of non sequitur quests and feats of mayhem. Like the original, Goat Simulator 3 is an open-world sandbox game that doesn’t even bother with things like a tutorial or having any kind of direction with its ridiculous plot (if you can even call it that).
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